This will probably be the first of several posts around this topic. Last week I received a note from a high school classmate (we just marked our 40th reunion, for those who could make it). She had gotten and modified one of those list of Things to Do Before I Die. This one had 10 items, but a Google search reveals hundreds of thousand of web pages devoted to the topic with lists running from 10 to 1000 or more things, depending on the author. There are also a number of books now available on this issue as well. (I wonder if "making a lot of money selling a book" is on those authors' lists!)
Most of the lists I've seen, including the one forwarded by my classmate are, unsurprisingly, "me-centered." Such lists include lots of travel and sightseeing destinations (Galapagos, Mt. Everest, Venice, even the space station) or daredevil events (drive a race car at 200 mph, climb Everest). Which, of course got me thinking about my own aspirations and what I consider worthy and memorable achievements.
Here's the start of my list:
1. Have a relationship with your true soulmate, your best and truest friend, and your life's partner, and realize they're all the same person.
2. And have that esteem, affection, and love reciprocated most willingly.
3. Tuck your children in at night and watch them sleep.
4. Tuck your grandchildren in at night and watch them sleep.
5. The feeling that comes with having a grandchild recognize your voice on the phone and actually talk to you--and include at least one spontaneous "I love you" in the dialog.
6. Enjoy every sunset and sunrise I have the opportunity to behold.
7. Be happy living most everywhere I have occasion to live. Find something good about every place and enjoy it.
8. Realize that when some folks ask my opinion they really do want to know what I think and feel on an issue--and value that opinion.
9. When I die folks will mourn, rather than be relieved to be rid of me.
I'm stopping at 9 so I can think more about this. That way later I can come back with a revised list as I move toward a list with numbers that end in zero. What's important to you?
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3 comments:
Maybe, Ron, we should always leave #10 open and free to be changed and added to as life emerges. I like that there is no 10.
I too have seen those "lists" of places to see, things to do, etc.
I like reading them and then comparing them to what I think might be mine.
I love reading yours...but I feel you have probably already achieved most of the goals on that list already by the sounds of it. (Other than #9). Your list is more 9 ways to live your life so that all other goals will become just side issues.
Thanks for posting this thought-provoking list and urging me to think through what mine might look like.
Ginny
I continue to chew on this and have thought of a few more.
10. Hear your grown children thank you for raising them the way you did.
11. Have a passport and, even if you use it just once, it's with someone you truly enjoy sharing the experience with.
12. Have friends/acquaintances/correspondents in timezones at least 5 zones in either direction from mine and maintain a long-term correspondence with them on issues of significance.
13. Walk the shoreline and dip my toes in the water of all 3 US coasts (Atlantic, Pacific, Gulf) in the same month.
Thirteen is as much a sign of incompleteness as 9, so let's pause here for reflection.
I would put on my list, "Make a hole in one". However, that would be tempting fate or luck - which could very well be the same side of the coin!
Thanks for sharing your blog with me. Happy blogging!
Kent
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